Holy Unmercenaries

“I can’t feel my legs,” he said.

His voice quivered, his eyes began to dart nervously toward the ceiling and back to his friend.

His friend had heard the nurses speaking after the operation. He struggled to make eye contact.

“He won’t walk again.”

“Poor boy — and his wife just had his first child.”

“Best prepare the morphine. He’s in for a long night.”

“What happened to me, Jerry? What’d they do to me?”

Jerry was sitting on the edge of his bed, his own legs, which were working just fine, resting softly on the cold concrete floor. He pursed his lips and looked down and stared at his feet. His friend spoke his name at least four times more. Jerry’s mouth was dry and he felt like he may vomit. He cleared his throat.

“They went in to get the bullet, Reg. They got it. But…” he trailed off.

“I can’t feel my legs, Jerry,” Reg whispered. “I can’t feel anything at all down there.”

Reg began to sob softly. But quickly his chest began to heave and he was wailing.

Nearby soldiers looked away or glanced awkwardly toward the nurses. A few men shot menacing and frustrated looks in Reg’s direction.

It wasn’t long and nurses were alongside Reggie, speaking softly and filling his IV slowly with clear, smoothe liquid.

It wasn’t long after, and Reggie was asleep.

Jerry couldn’t sleep. He watched as Reggie took slow, heavy breaths in and out. For the briefest moment, a sting of jealousy came over him as he watched Reggie resting. He felt sure that he had seldom had as peaceful a night’s sleep as Reggie was having right now.

Of course he would wake up tomorrow and begin his life as a quadriplegic. Jerry closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. His chest felt tight and his eyes filled with tears.

“Lord have mercy,” he whispered.

He clenched his eyes tight and tried to breathe slow and easy. He quietly repeated, Lord have mercy over and over.

He felt close to sleep once, but it slipped away. He rolled to his side and glanced at the man sleeping in the bed on his opposite side. He breathed heavily, nearly snoring. Jerry rolled to his back and began massaging his closed eyes with his balled up fists. It must have been hours since lights out. He’d be awake shortly and needing to comfort Reggie.

He had no comfort to give.

He rolled back toward the bed where Reggie slept, and saw a man leaning over him, inspecting him. The man was dressed in older, light blue military clothing. The insignias on his uniform were unfamiliar to Jerry.

The soldier stood aright and looked over at Jerry who immediately felt uncomfortable and averted his gaze.

“Is this your friend?” said the stranger.

Jerry nodded. He was beginning to get a headache.

The soldier walked over to Jerry’s bed and sat down on the edge of his bed.

“You do have the ability to sleep,” he said.

Jerry could feel the man’s eyes upon him. He could feel the anger inside him rising in response to the man’s flippant remark.

Through his periphery, Jerry saw the soldier bow his head and close his eyes.

“I have prayed for you, Jerome, son of Joseph. First, that you would sleep in peace and be relieved from this insomnia. You have the ability to sleep. You must believe this.”

The man continued.

“Second, I have prayed for you to be loosed from anger and envy. Fight against these things, and learn gratitude.”

Jerry made eye contact with the man. His face was young and stern and his jawline was sharp. His eyes were piercing and yet Jerry felt a sense of deep compassion from the man.

“Third, I beg you pray for your friend, Jerome. Pray for your family, and pray for me.”

Jerry found that he could not look away from the man.

“How can I pray for you?” he asked.

“I have a long journey tonight, pray that I arrive safely. I am off to find my friend, a Doctor in Munich, who will labor here with me. He will heal your friend.”

Jerry blinked as he stared at the man. He wondered if he had in fact fallen asleep, and this was a dream.

“Will you pray for me?” the man asked.

Jerry nodded.

“Do your best, and then sleep soundly,” the man said. “You will need your strength.”

The man stood and walked away.

Jerry rolled out of his bed and knelt on the floor, bowing his head and beginning to pray.